Honor
by RDK Rana
Summary: Imagine a world where humanity doesn't fight amongst each other. Guess what?I live in that world. Now, imagine a world where humans fight some giant cannibals with an endless hunger for human blood. Yeah, you guessed right, I live in that world. Now the question is whether to join the scout regiment, stationary guard or the military police? SI/self-insert
1. I am from?

I was covered by darkness. I couldn't even see a bit of light and I felt like I was stuffed in a bag, a really tight bag and I was getting terrified by not knowing a thing that was happening to me. Was I being kidnapped, but why would anybody kidnap me. I wasn't even a rich kid who had loads of money to spend and parents to provide the luxuries that rich people had. I belonged to a normal family with loving parents

The truth was, at the time I had no idea what was happening. I was now being twisted and squeezed and the comforting darkness in which I had rested was torn away. There was pain and cold and terror. There was immediacy. Things that hadn't seemed important were suddenly at the forefront of my mind; what had happened; where was I; was I alive or dead, hurt or injured; what was going on?

I couldn't tell.

After the comforting darkness came the piercing light that hurt my eyes like needles.

Talking about eyes, my eyes seemed to be incredibly underdeveloped. I was seeing the entire world in a blurry image, but the easiest thing to see was the stark contrast between light and dark. I could see shapes and edges, but the world looked incredibly confusing.

I was scared. Terrified. I didn't know what was happening. I could hear, yes, but not understand what was being said. Had I suffered brain damage? Did I have aphasia? The thought terrified me. I can think few worse fates than to be trapped with no method of communication in the world around me.

I was near blind, confused and helpless. My body didn't respond to me.

Imagine having a healthy body and the next day, you could feel your body, but not command it to move. Like your whole body has become too lazy that your brain can't even control it.

I wanted to cry and surprisingly enough, I was able to cry.

Isn't it wonderful you can do nothing but cry.

I didn't know if I had gotten smaller or the people holding me has gotten bigger, but I could say it with absolute certainty that I was terrified. This was impossible; what was happening, I was getting scared, what had happened; am I dead.

Then it struck me, I realized the reason behind why was I so small, I was a baby, but no teenager could shrink down so much. I mean come on, I was the size of a baby and couldn't even move a limb.

After realizing that I was a baby, I cried louder, but why was I a baby, had I died and have been reincarnated. Where was my family? I do remember a car coming close to me and getting hit by it. Hadn't I survived that hit? But that doesn't explain why I am a baby and that's if I have become a baby and not some Robocop or cyborg if that's possible, but let's just assume I am a baby and have died and have been reincarnated and have been recently born. Yeah, this theory sound much better than having all body destroyed with only brain intact

I felt as if I was being carried by a giant then being passed to another giant. I started feeling a sensation of beating sound, then I realized it was the sound of a heartbeat and it wasn't mine, but rather it was of that giant that was holding me

And oddly enough, it was pleasantly soothing to hear or feel in this case

The giantess, which I assume was my new fake mother started cooing and I felt relieved for a moment before I again realized about my real parents. Just because that my this mother was loving doesn't mean I would replace my old parents, no, they are still my parents. My train of thoughts was broken by the sound of a name

"Ethan" I heard my mother say.

And I felt my cheeks wet with water drops, no, they were tears, of the giantess

I stopped crying for the sake of her happiness because I am not a sadist and I won't like some random kid irritate, annoy or make my mother sad in the moment of joy and happiness

I mourned for hours about them endlessly, but not once crying again

After I had finally calmed down and assured myself that I am not getting back my family, I started crying less and that is only after I convinced myself after 4-5 months to move on and adjust to this family but still, I could never forget the bonds I once shared with my family

Eat and sleep routine continued for about 7 months until I was able to see, walk and understand a bit of the new language which I guess is Japanese since I am familiar with few words of Japanese

My mother took me outside and ta-da

Imagine my surprise when I realized that I lived inside a wall. At first, I thought Donald trump has completed his wall project and has built a wall around America and that i have been dead for several years that trump was able to build the wall but I had doubts since the walls were close enough that you could see them and I am pretty sure trump's plan was to build a wall around America and not some city unless America has been invaded and has been reduced to a size of big city where lots of people don't even have a smartphone, technology and lots of people carried weapons, which I think can be called a resistance or rebellion to our current ruler or of course trump had decided to build a wall in every city. Yeah, this theory sounds good

look I know that it is very similar to attack on titan world but that world is fictional and I know that it is impossible to live in a fictional world

But internally, I was scared because this place was starting to look like attack on titan world but still, that is impossible

And god was I wrong, I wished I should have been better off dead rather than being alive when I realized that my father face was very similar to a character in shingeki no kyojin. We were covered by walls, weren't having that much technology. This could only mean one thing, that I was in shingeki no kyojin. Why you ask? since I could see properly now,


	2. Chapter 2

I was born in the year 835 and if I remember correctly. Titans attacked in year 845 and Eren would be 10 at that time. Titans attacked again or rather will attack in year 850 making Eren and myself 15.

Soon the mother had ditched me in an orphanage. I never saw her face again.

I read, struggling through children's books that were available in the orphanage and believe me there weren't many.

History, especially about the walls or outside, wasn't really something that had many books on. It was if it was some sort of classified top secret CIA information. Likely there were many classified events that would fill in the holes.

If, as it seemed, this world was attack on titan, then I knew the future or some of it. Was there anything I could do?

The answer appeared to be a staggering 'no'. I dreaded the fact that I wasn't able to read the manga.

The fact that I had no parents in this life wasn't that much upsetting to me. The orphanage was situated in wall maria. Orphanage didn't get much money from the capital especially in the wall furthest from the royals so the conditions of the orphanage wasn't that great but it was still livable there but not to the point where you can call it nice and the caretakers weren't the most friendliest.

Being a toddler wasn't fun. I have to live with kids maybe forty or so. It felt so weird to live with so many children especially since I lived alone in my other life. There were few kids that I made friends with.I didn't talk or play unless I had the mood and was forced.

Now, to live I have to stay away from the main cast as far as possible and I think I will since Eren and his gang are on the other side of the wall. Well at least for the meantime until the walls aren't broken by some giant maniacs.

Orphans are given the choice to join training corps or move out and do whatever when they are thirteen. So which ultimately leads them no choice and they join the training corps but some eventually quit thinking military as not their cup of tea and are left to fend for themselves.

My friends Zack, Mayu and Zoe were the only ones that didn't bore me to death.

"lets race" Zack said after he was tired staring at the sky.

"why not" I said.

Without saying a word we all lined up horizontally.

"till where? "Zoe asked getting excited.

"to that tree" I said getting ready

"on my mark "

"one"

"two"

"three"

"GO!"

we all started running. Mayu was ahead of all of us. I was third while Zack was at second and Zoe being last.

Mayo won the race. we all were out of breath when we stopped. I just fell flat on the grass and just laid there for some time.

LINEBREAK-

Time passed by and the year 843 came and near came the time when many lives will be lost. I was playing hide and seek with my friends in the forest of giant trees. The forest was very large maybe as big as a city. Nobody came here unless they had some business was my turn to seek so I started the countdown.

"Here I come"

I heard a noise from the nearby bush so I went to check it out. Rather than finding any of my friends, I found a wolf. The wolf looked wounded maybe he was getting hunted for his meat. He looked hungry and I seemed to be the only prey here right now.

'I should go warn Mayu, Zack and Zoe.' I thought.

But I was in no position to move as I was terrified. The foam forming in the wolf's mouth wasn't helping either.

He went straight for my legs and started to chew on pain was unbearable but I had to bear the pain and I tried hard not to scream because if I do Mayu and the other will come here to see whats wrong and they might be attacked by the other wolf that was approaching me to join the feast. We were in the middle of the forest nobody would come for help. Painful sobs left my mouth. I flinched. I struggled but I could do nothing to prevent the wolf from coming to me. Tears left my eye.I really wanted to live. I didnt wanted to die. Again. So helpless I was right now. I closed my eyes. Please, someone, help me! It seemed pointless to pray but it was the only thing I was able to do. I never thought a game of hide and seek would result in in me dying. Nobody mentioned wild animals being here.

But before the other wolf could start feasting on me I heard thunder which caused me to crack open my eyes to see a surge of lightning come toward me.

Then everything went black as lightning of one billion volts hit me as it electrified my entire existence.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up which I didn't expect I would I was lying on the ground. It felt as if I just fell from several meter high. The wolves were now lying dead. Somebody had killed them. Giving a glance to the other side I found a really large body that was decomposing. It was definitely a titans body. Its large size was a dead giveaway. But how was it here? Have the titan attacked already? If not how is this body here but if they did how did they breach the wall? These questions ran a chill down my spine. Did somebody kill it?

I didn't know what to do. I was pretty sure that there wasn't an attack until year 845 or maybe I just changed the timeline somehow But I was not sure if I really did because I didn't have any contact with the world outside.

I got up and checked my surroundings. There was nobody. Just what had happened?

The last I remember was that I was getting eaten by a wolf and then lightning hit me. Wait a minute.

what?

am I?

Did I become flash?

Nah. It was too absurd to begin with. I was saying it as if getting reincarnated in a fictional world isn't.

The two pieces of the puzzle were fitting together but I wasn't gonna admit it. It just didn't felt right. That I was one of them. It seems to be genetic and I may have inherited it from my father or mother or possibly both and whoever I may have inherited it from would not want humans to know the existence of titans within the walls. They would probably kill if they know there is a kid that can blow away their cover.

All of the wounds or scars that should have been there were gone as if I wasn't attacked in the first place. I was perfect. No wound, No pain, just nothing. I was a titan shifter and nobody should know it. Same things that happened to Eren will happen to me if somebody found out that I am a titan shifter. Zack and others were nowhere to be seen. Just where the hell are they?

I needed to pretend as if nothing happened here but first I needed to get out of the woods. The large body had decomposed already and it remains were being blown away by the wind.

Now, back to the orphanage.

LINEBREAK-

"Ethan!" I glanced at the direction from where the voice came from. It was the trio. They were running towards my direction.

"Where have you been dude?" asked zack while trying to catch his breath.

"I couldn't find you guys anywhere so I went to the market where I wandered till now"

"That's not how you play the game"

"oh really I could ask the same. Where have you all been?"

"Some men were hunting some wild animal so they told us to get out of the woods. We tried to tell them that you were still in there but before we could say it a man called upon them and they went to his direction. We tried to inform the caretakers but they just were too busy gossiping and ushered us away. We were just gonna look for you when we found you here"

"Good to know that you didn't ditch me"

"why would we. We are friends after all." He looked hurt.I clearly regretted saying it.

"let's go back to the orphanage"

"yeah"

We got back to the orphanage. Kids ran here and there completely ignorant to the fact that half of them might die in the next two years. Eaten by titans taller than houses as if they were steak kebabs. All of them had a careless and happy expression on their faces. None of them, Heck anyone knew what was coming except me and yet there was nothing I could do.I could save my friends by shifting into a titan but I am too selfish for my own good. I would be doomed to death if show the world that I can transform into a titan which the human population here fear the most.

I needed to form a plan to save my friends. In the show, people were being rescued by boats so I would need to get my friends close to the river when the attack happens but I should do it subtly so nobody could figure out that I knew what was happening as it would seem suspicious and I didn't want questions that I didn't wanna answer. I cant let my friends die but at the same time, I don't wanna die either. I was given a second chance to fulfill all my dreams and ambitions that I wasn't able to fulfill in my old life. Was I willing to give my life for others? Give up the second chance that might be the last. I wasn't sure about the answer.

The dusk setted. We went to the mess hall to eat dinner. While eating we talked about random things but most of the times my mind was occupied with my newfound 'abilities'. I kept on wondering what Mayu, Zack and Zoe would think of me if they found out what I am.

"Hey, Zack what do you think about the Titans?"

"I think they are some creepy giants from what I have seen in the books "

"And what about you Zoe?"

"I think they are monsters and they need to be killed on sight.I would crush them under my feet" How ironic I thought.

"Maybe they aren't as bad as you think" piqued in Mayu.

"Haven't you seen the faces of survey corps when they can have a face like that unless they met a demon. Only if I were there that time" Zoe said exasperatedly. I felt that Zoe wouldn't take me being a titan shifter very well. She may even kill me in the near future knowingly or unknowingly.

"Maybe.." but before mayu could say anything further she was cut off by Zoe.

"They killed my parents! Titans left me an orphan! They all deserve to die!" Before we knew it Zoe had started crying in mid between her sentence. Mayu looked teary-eyed.

"I am sorry I didn't knew. I didn't mean to hurt you"

"Just go away"

Before the conversation could continue any further and heat up I took Mayu out of the room and gave Zoe some time alone with herself and for her to cool down.

"Mayu don't be upset"

"I made her cry"

"No she just had it in her mind for a long time and I think it was rather my fault. I had started a topic that was sensitive to her"

"But still"

"You shouldn't be sad. Life ahead is gonna be full of surprises that will make you sad and cheer up!"

"Yes you are right"

I hoped Zack calmed down Zoe.

We didn't talk after that and then went to our respective rooms to sleep. I didnt sleep properly that night.

LINEBREAK-

Zoe was a lively girl before her parents died. Zoe and her parents lived in the karanese district. She lived there with her uncle until her parents would come back from their expeditions. Her uncle didn't have a job so her dad lets him live in his house. Zoe didn't mind that he lived with them. After all, they were family and that's what family do. She wasn't able to sleep the whole night under the excitement that her parents would return tomorrow morning. And that's the reason why she overslept but when she woke up she checked the time. It was nine. Her parents were supposed to be within the walls around seven thirty. So she tried to find them but there was nobody in the house not even uncle Joe. Were her parents late again? but where was uncle joe?. She went outside and saw that her uncle was coming back with an expression not found usually on his face. Why was he sad? Was he not happy that her mom and dad were coming back? He was carrying something in both of his arms. It was covered in blankets. Was it a gift? Did her parents brought it from the world outside? When She waved at him He looked at Zoe and looked away from her immediately as if he felt guilty and started crying. She was getting confused now. Why was he sad? What had happened? She ran to him.

"Uncle?" She asked him hesitantly.

"Zoe I don't know how to say it you but..." He looked away not able to look Zoe in the eye.

"what uncle?"

Instead of saying anything he showed what he had been carrying. It frightened her. Why was her uncle showing her a leg and half-chewed abdomen? Zoe got the urge to puke but she held herself together. She mustered all of her strength and said "what are these? why are you showing me this". He finally said what she expected he would say

"This is what is left of your parents"

Her world broke apart.

Soon after. They buried what was left of her parents. Her only family that was alive now, uncle Joe left her in the orphanage saying that he wouldn't be able to afford her. He took possession of all Zoe's parents valuables. He reported her as missing. All bank accounts, land and house her dads' asshole brother owned it. The man she considered her best friend betrayed her. He was mean and selfish shit. He took advantage of her. It didn't matter to him who he just betrayed. He seemed to be happy when he left her at the orphanage. Only God knows what will happen if she saw his face again.

LINEBREAK-

In the morning, I woke up to the sound of the bell announcing that scouting regiment has come back from the expedition. Zoe brought all of us to see the regiment. She considers them as some sort of heroes maybe because her parents were one of them. The crowd gathered sideways to watch them. Nobody in regiment dare spoke a word as if speaking was a taboo. All of the survey corps member looked down as if they had lost. Many of them were even wounded. The numbers of them decreased significantly. It was no different from the show except I was present there and it was much worse and saddening to see it. Many of the civilians just thought them as a waste of their taxes. While it was true that all these expeditions that they are doing right now are a waste as they will not accomplish anything until much later but they would be in high demand when the titans attack the walls and they would be required to fight off the Titans and reclaim the land that the humans have lost as they are the professionals in fighting titans.

LINEBREAK-

We ate the usual crappy food in the morning and went off for a new adventure.

All four of us were trying to earn some money and the new adventure I just talked about, Well it was trying to catch the chicken and all sort of domestic animals back to their pens as the weather was going cloudy. Zack was trying to move the cow back to the shed. Putting all of his strength in moving the animal but all in vain, the cow did not move an inch. Zoe tried to catch the chicken. She was running after the chicken like a mad bull running when seeing the red color. The farm owner who promised to pay us if we helped him was watching with amusement standing on the corner. Mayu just fed the goat often saying cute! Well, Me? I just watched the whole commotion. I went to Zack. I showed the cow some grass and the cow moved and did it until the cow reached the shed. I put grains in the chicken pen and the chicken automatically went for the grains after seeing it. Mayu was the only one that didn't need help. We all got some money but it still wasn't enough even you summed all the money we got. The money could buy two nice meals but just two. We all felt as if we all have achieved something when we got the small amount of money. We spend it all on the food.

"This food is so good. Don't you think the same Zoe?" Said Zack still chewing.

"Yeah. The food at the orphanage is crap compared to this."

"At least we had food to eat. Good or not" said Mayu.

"This is definitely better than the one at the orphanage."

"I hope I could eat this food forever!" Zack said enthusiastically

Oh, Zack, we won't even get what we have in the orphanage in the next two years. There would be so much scarcity of food that we would be barely able to feed ourselves properly. I hoped I could stretch this moment so it could last forever but

The clock was ticking fast.


End file.
